Changing Planes

I'm writing this somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, south of Tokyo and north of Yap. I like long flights: it feels like I'm suspended not just in air, but in time. There's a peculiar freedom to cocoon or contemplate, for which I am especially grateful tonight.

This trip is starting on an unexpected turn. Many reading this will already know that my mom, our much-loved and aptly-named Marvel Warner, passed away quietly on Sunday with close family in song by her side. Dad passed four months ago; my sister Marci and I delight in thinking they're dancing together again.

Last year, at age 82, Mom joined Toastmasters. Earlier this month she was working on writing her tenth speech. Marci shared it with me and I want to include an excerpt here.

"Have you ever felt lonely? Discouraged? Miserable? I have.

My mother's adage was 'Don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself! There's always someone that needs help more than you do. Help them instead!'

I really had to apply my mother's words when we got news of the loss of our son in Vietnam. It was inconceivable that he was gone. He had packed more living into his 21 years than most people do in 70. He had a real joie de vivre, and my husband and I determined that as a family we would maintain that joy and try to share it.

We had lived on an island - both literally and figuratively - but John Donne wrote, 'No man is an island... Any man's death diminishes me because I am involved in mankind.'

Now we began to reach out... there are so many ways we can help if we are not marooned on our own little islands of self-interest."

Mom was so excited about my involvement with PeaceTrees and the kindergaten project that we all agreed the best way to honor her would be to continue on the trip. An now I get to take her words to heart as I go in joy and with her blessing.

We flew north out of Sea-Tac Airport tonight then made a tight clockwise circle right above our old family home on Mercer Island. I think that in a sense, Mom, Dad and Dave are all traveling with me... they're just on a different plane.